6 Days of Super Eagles … Days: 2

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#Eagles #SuperBowlLII #FlyEaglesFly

2 more days.  2 more days until the greatest day of your life Eagles fans.  And have no doubt; this Sunday you will be crowning your Philadelphia Eagles as Super Bowl LII Champions!  And your MVP???  You’ll have to read to the bottom to see that.  But the stars are aligned as illustrated in this blog series.  The X’s and the O’s, cosmic forces, and public will are gathering into a tempest that will finally tousle that perfect Benedict Brady coif.

Before today’s reason for victory, a moment on our jersey choice just 2 days prior to Super Bowl Sunday:

Day 2 Jersey:  Donovan McNabb

The writers at primatomma scratch our heads when discussing the greatest Eagle QB in the modern era and his relationship with fans post-retirement. Some still hang the Super Bowl loss on him, conveniently forgetting the handicap of playing for the most inept clock manager of all time, Andy Reid. Others quickly forget the excellence and toughness he brought to his craft remembering instead his final two journeyman seasons.  Such misguided souls …  because the greatest modern era Eagle QB is certainly Mr. Campbell Soup himself, Donovan Jamal McNabb.  Don’t get it twisted; the man bled green for the most successful Eagles’ era in recent history.

Its funny that we don’t know what we got till it’s gone (or never arrives).  Here’s the litany of inept QB’s post- Randall and pre- Wentz who we had the pleasure to mercilessly boo (the undeserving in italics):

Rodney Peete – Ty Detmer – Bobby Hoying – Doug Pederson (yes, THAT Doug Pederson) – Koy Detmer – AJ Feeley – Mike McMahon – Jeff Garcia – Kevin Kolb – Vince Young – Michael Vick Nick Foles Mark Sanchez – Sam Bradford.

Compare these drecks’ accomplishments to Donovan’s 5 NFC East Championships, 5 NFC Championship Games, 1 NFC Championship, 1 Super Bowl appearance, while becoming the Eagles’ all-time leader in pass attempts, pass completions, passing yards, and passing touchdowns.  If you still harbor negative feelings for 5, it may be time up your Prozac. For 11 mostly glorious years, 5 gave his all without a bona fide #1 receiver, but for one full year exception with Terrell Owens.  The rest of his tenure, it was 5 making Wide Receiver salad out of Wide Receiver shit.

And remember, “#5 will always love you!

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Day 2 Reason for Eagle Victory:  Defense

Back to the X’s and O’s.  If there’s one axiom that’s been burned into our collective brain from the football illuminati, it’s “Defense Wins Championships”. And if that’s truly the case then get your champagne ready for poppin’.

Everybody knows that you don’t blitz Brady; that he’ll recognize fewer defenders in coverage and pick you apart.  But that has led to a false sense of security when there’s not pressure, him being one of the most aggressive QBs this season at throwing to covered receivers.  Well, the Eagles are the best in the NFL at limiting the effectiveness of throwing into coverage, holding QBs to a paltry 16.6 passer rating when their defender is within proximity of the intended receiver.  Jim Schwartz blitzes LBs and DBs sparingly, relying instead on his front 4 to pressure the QB … of which they are one of the best in football.  Expect a lot of zone coverage in early downs with man-under concepts on 3rd downs to force stops.  Of course the Pats will counter with rub routes in such situations which you can believe the ‘Birds have been working on big time for the last two weeks.  We suspect the Eagles base defense will be nickel, in order to stymie the effectiveness of Brady’s hurry-up offense.  Malcolm Jenkins will have his big boy pants on with a full plate of Gronk, lining up 4 yards from the line of scrimmage in run support.

So how about the run game?  Got you covered there as well … the Eagles were the best in the league at run defense, allowing an average of just 79.2 yards per game on the ground.  They gave up just 7 rushing TDs all year and ranked 6th in yards allowed per carry.  Suddenly the Gillislee, Burkhead, Lewis trifecta doesn’t seem all that worrisome.

A quick review of the Pats defense:  They were ranked 30th in the NFL in pass defense.  Eric Rowe and Patrick Chung are key members of that defense.  Enough said.

WHEN the Eagles win this Sunday, there will be a vocal cry for the MVP of this game being the entire defense.  That’s how the Evil Empire will be set to crumbling.

Advantage:  EAGLES

We’re almost there folks.  Until then, the time is yours.

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6 Days of Super Eagles … Days: 4

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And then there were 4.  4 LOONGGG days until redemption for the 2004 season’s Super Bowl.  You remember.  Same Patriots, same Brady.  So close but couldn’t seal the deal, falling to the Death Star by a measly field goal, 24-21.  But fear not Eagles faithful, today’s jersey selection and reason for ‘Birds glory this Sunday are sure to get the revenge juices flowing like Rocky facing Clubber Lang after Mickey’s death.

Day 4 Jersey:  Terrell Owens

Take a deep breath … lots of emotions bubble to the surface when the initials of Terrell Eldorado Owens are muttered to Eagles fans.  T.O. conjures both the best of times and worst of times for Eagle nation.  But make no mistake, this dude will go down in the annals of Eagle’s lure having given one of the most remarkable efforts EVER in professional sports.  T.O.’s on-field prowess cannot be denied.  He averaged nearly 100 yards per game during his short stint in Philly, the undeniable missing piece in Donovan’s arsenal that he never had before and certainly never had after.

But the defining moment that cements him as legend in Linc-ville, emblematic of all that is beloved in our blue collar ethos, was his comeback from a week 15 broken leg to play in the Super Bowl.  And not just play, but nabbed 9 catches for 122 yards… on ONE DAMN LEG!

T.O., your time here was too short.  But for one magical season, (cue Tina Turner) you were simply the best.

TO

Day 4 Reason for Eagle Victory:  Vigilance

Interesting that with all of the scrutiny aimed at professional athletes off the field that something as rudimentary as signal stealing on the field could still possibly occur.  But according to recent acknowledgment by Steve Spagnuolo, Eagles linebacker coach during the 2004 Super Bowl season, that’s exactly what happened in that razor thin game.  Spags made mention that the late great Defensive Coordinator Jim Johnson was convinced of this during the game… that Darth Brady knew of blitzes every time Johnson dialed up pressure – even exotic stunts from defensive alignments the Eagles had never shown throughout the season!  Film review thereafter makes his claim all the more credible and, according to Spagnuolo, factual. (Research credit:  primaMurbase).

Why bring this up now, 17 years later?  Because if we don’t, history will repeat itself.  And that ladies and gentlemen is NOT going to happen.  The Eagles are well prepared this time to avert those prying eyes, going so far as more deeply coded play calls and multiple signalers should the audio system fail.  And on a level playing field, that razor thin 3 point loss 17 years ago becomes a W … which it is going to be this time!

Level playing field … Advantage:  EAGLES

Until tomorrow… time is yours.

Presenting … the primaTomies!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programing of disgraced Hollywood moguls and A-listers – who believe their status in the world of make believe gives license to unzip, pop out, and disgrace their loved ones – with a word from our sponsors.  OK, not really OUR sponsors but those who have earned the right to [dis]grace the pages of our fine site.  We present to you the worst commercial finalists, as nominated by our loyal followers.

Ladies and gentlemen, the primaTomies‘:

Terrible Commercial Nominees

Annoying Verizon spokesman turned Sprint spokesman.

This dude was a tool with Verizon and continues to be annoying with Sprint.  Hey Paul, why not just say “I’m pimping Sprint now because they’re paying me more than Verizon … and all those ads I ran for 10 years for Verizon, just forget about them.”  Once a tool always a tool:

Condescending Trivago guy.

You know, the women really nailed the best physical descriptor ever with “Resting Bitch Face”.  We try in vain to match that with our “Wanting to Punch you in the Face, Face”.  Not quite the same ring, but it’s the thought that counts.  And who would you rather punch in the face more than this condescending, would rather be doing anything than talk to us, divorced-dad-type trying to be too cool-for-school poser?

Dallas Cowboy Repping … Insurance??!!!

GEICO must not have done their homework.  Or maybe they have:  The organization that is wrought with drugs, misogyny, frequenting of prostitutes, DUI convictions, etc. is chosen to represent a company that aims to appeal to all Americans?

To be clear, Jason Witten is a good dude and really not deserving of the Cowboys’ horns but this commercial blows regardless of the team.  First of all, they give him a generic “82” jersey that 1) has the numbers way too spread out, and 2) doesn’t even reference his team.  What, GEICO can’t afford to pay the fee to use his actual jersey?  And the lighting, the dumb-ass drills, and the even dumber song makes us cringe every time this low-rent trash of a commercial airs.  Maybe their intent was to show a broke-ass, cheap commercial for a product of the same characteristics?  If so, GEICO, you succeeded.

“And the winner is…”

This was a tough vote for the primaStaff, but we have reached a verdict:  As nausea-inducing as all of these fine finalists may be, one truly causes the dry heaves with each view… that of GEICO infamy!  Congratulations GEICO and Mr. Witten, you receive the inaugural lousy commercial award!  Your primaTomie is in the mail.

Next up, the best commercials; stay tuned…

NFL Conference Championship Sunday – primaPicks

And we finally arrive at one of the great sporting days on the calendar; NFL Conference Championship Sunday.  And what’s a great sport day without the magic of the point spread, the over/under, the parlay, and the cherry-on-top, the 6 point tease???!!! Yes boys and girls, it’s time for primaPicks – our service to help you bulk up that bankroll for the Super Bowl and then the merriment of March Madness.

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Here we go:

The Steelers cover but may not win but take the 6. No Gronk, Ben is way better than Landry Jones (who the Pats only beat 27-16 … which also adds to the revenge factor), and with the Steelers 3 headed offensive monster, we can see the Pats winning by a FG but not much more.  And who doesn’t love rooting against the Brady/Belichick evil empire?  I know, half of the Steelers had the flu this week, some South Sider pulled their hotel fire alarm last night leading to evacuation, and everyone has seen the Antonio Brown Facebook Live feed where Coach Tomlin called the Patriots a bunch of “a-holes”.  So of course is makes sense to pick the Steelers!

 
Next, the Falcons -5.5 is the obvious and easy play; don’t overthink this.  Falcons barely beat the Pack 33-32 in Atlanta earlier this season where the Pack were completely healthy. Much different this time:  Green Bay has three receivers listed as questionable, two of whom are starters Jordy Nelson and Davante Adams. Nelson is recovering from broken ribs while Adams has an ankle injury.  No way the Falcons don’t win by a TD+.
This is going to be a shocker to those who have cashed with primaPicks all season, but we LOVE both unders.  The under is 6-0 in the Patriots last 6 conference championship games. The Steelers have gone under in 16 of last 22 games.

Regarding the Falcons/Packers tilt, everyone and their brother are taking the over, driving it up to 61 at some books. Whenever action is that heavy, the opposite tends to hit.  Dedicated reader, primaRapper asked, “didn’t you see that Vegas took a bath the last two weekends?” That they did, but Vegas was built by blind sheep following each other to the slaughter; the fact that sports books got burnt two weeks in a row – in a big way – makes this under the play of the day.  Even though both defenses sort of blow, this game gets to the low/mid 50s but certainly not the 60s as a defensive stop or two at the end seals it for the Falcons and keeps it under 60.

Put these babies in with your favorite service, fix a fat bloody mary, and enjoy some fat winners!

#ZIP: NFL Jersey Swaps

This has got to end … and quickly!  Look, we get it; free agency in sports has caused all of our favorite gladiators to become ‘boys.  Problem is this is happening both off and ON the field.  Couple that with wussification rules across the board and it’s no wonder that we yearn for the battles of yesteryear.

Never again will we see the great Larry Bird and Dr. J throwing hands at each other or Chuck Bednarik standing over Frank Gifford saying “this fucking game is OVER” (and not coincidentally Mr. Kathy Lee’s playing career as well).  Instead, we get the love-fest shown below.  After a very hard hitting and emotional game last night, the Cowboy fans are treated to this???!!  Look,  primatomma realizes this is commonplace in soccer, but what’s next?  Feigning injuries like futbol’s “warriors” so as to induce a red card?  (Or is it green card?  Having a hard time finding any soccer fans in the office).

After spending $100 on tickets, $50 on parking, and $200 on concessions, you’d think our vitriol for the enemy would be shared by those pocketing our cash.  It’s not.  So wise up and realize these guys are mostly making business decisions.  The more they cozy up off the field the less likely they’ll be hammered on the field.  And that sucks for all of us.

Zeke Elliott and OBJ, for continuing this annoying jersey swap trend, you two are now primatomma #ZIP award recipients.

 

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