So you know the age old saying “Happy Wife, Happy Life”? Well we have a new one for you: “Divorce, No Remorse”. Let me explain.
For every henpecked loser out there who kowtow’s to his/her spouse, there’s another who simply refuses to live out life under the weight of a one-way relationship. Now let me be clear: All marriages seemingly start with the best of intentions, and should be nurtured and developed into a partnership. “Partnership” being the key word. Far too often either the dynamic changes with one side taking full control over decisions, planning, etc. or the partnership never existed in the first place.
If I hear one more time from a married person that they can’t do this or that because “my spouse will kill me”… or that “I checked my testicles at the altar with ‘I do'”, I’m literally going to vomit in my mouth.
Let me throw out a novel concept for you lovebirds considering the sacred rite of matrimony. Instead of thinking how much you love spending time with your boy toy or your prom queen, think about hanging-out minus the sex. Is that still the person you just can’t wait to be with the rest of your life or are you just longing for orgasms that don’t involve your own hand?
Here’s the right approach … and listen up unless you want to pad the wallets of family law attorneys with your hard earned benjamins: Pick your partner (emphasis on the word “partner” for if one of you is doing all the heavy lifting – financially, socially, emotionally, spiritually – without at least equal effort from the other, you’re doomed) based on the answer to one question: Would I go to war with this person? Because life is a war – make no mistake about it.
When negotiating your first house and you are clearly at a disadvantage, you are fighting a losing war; better have a partner who you can heal with after that battle vs. blaming for not contributing more. When you have kids and they are playing one of you against the other, you better be ‘brothers in arms’ and not succumb to the urchins by throwing your comrade under the bus by allowing that extra ice cream when your partner said “absolutely not” … that’s treason. And for those of you who plan the perfectly reasonable position of not having children, get ready for the PR attack from jealous parents who what you to join their misery – that may be the truest test of your resolve to each other.
Bottom line is this: The family may be the backbone of America, but if that family is built on a foundation of sand, America is fucked. Best advice is making sure you’re rock solid when you start. And if you’re not, cut bait, lick your wounds, and find that partner who you would never leave behind.