Super Eagles Summary: Philly Special


#Eagles #SuperBowlLII #FlyEaglesFly

“Philly Special”.  By now, everyone knows Dougie P’s code for the gutsiest play call in Super Bowl history.  The direct snap, reverse, throw back to our QB for a touchdown that will be remembered forever in the annals of Philadelphia Eagle lore and Super Bowl greatest moments history.  Consider the sequence:  A direct snap to an undrafted back-up running back, who then pitches to an undrafted back-up tight end, who then throws the ball to a back-up QB who two years ago pondered retirement to pursue a career as a pastor.  Touchdown!  A play that the QB called himself and agreed by (and created by) a coach who was running a high school team just 10 year ago.  This stuff can’t be made up!

Your Philadelphia Eagles are Super Bowl Champions!  Let that sink in for a minute.  Honestly, it hasn’t sunk in yet in the primatomma offices.  Closure is needed … perhaps celebrating with 3 million of our best friends tomorrow on Broad St. will do the trick.


Why we won:  ???

Nick Foles/Doug Pederson, they’re getting most of the ink and rightfully so.  I mean how could they not???  Foles arguably out-dueled the greatest QB of our time – possibly ever – if you take away the interception when Alshon Jeffrey almost made a miraculous catch.  And Pederson?  This dude will forever walk with the Philly coaching legends … Fred Shero, Billy Cunningham, Dick Vermeil, Dallas Greene.  His handling of this team is nothing short of excellent.  Losing as many key players as he did and still winning the Super Bowl?  Incredible.

But we go next level here.  All the rags can state the obvious.  Not here.  Not now.  Here’s the keys to victory beyond the obvious.

  • Women and Weed, meet Malcolm Butler.  Its the age old warning, immortalized by Mickey Goldmill:  “Women weaken legs!”.  Add-in some reefer plus missed practices from being sick and you wind up on Emperor Belichick’s shit list.  Having played 98% of the Patriot defensive snaps this year, Butler’s decision-making forced Patrick Chung and Eric Rowe into bigger roles than they should ever play. And if you read the Super Bowl preview columns right here, you’ll note the prescient “Reason for Eagle Victory” being the existent of those two Jabrones on the Pats defense.  Malcolm Butler, we salute you … sort of.
  • Nelson Agholor.  This dude flat out balled!  He’s going to be overshadowed by the incredible performance by Foles but his impact was 1A on this game.  His stat line was not other-worldly:  9 receptions for 84 yards; one carry for 9 yards.  But the impact of those plays cannot be overstated.  He was clearly the game-planned go-to in early downs.  Possibly due to weak coverage thx to Mr. Butler’s strong decision making above.  But he came through time and again.  A real tribute when you look at his body of work.  Last season, he was about run out of town due to a perceived allergic reaction whenever the football approached his personal space.  No more.  #13 is a key member of this squad and a big reason why we’re Super Bowl champs.
  • Defense.  You read that right.  Defense.  “But prima, how can we laud the defense when we gave up 33 points and didn’t force a single punt the entire game?”  This is why we provide next level analysis:  The defensive line got to Brady.  Maybe not on the stat sheet as sacks, but they hit him… a lot.  Brandon Graham’s strip sack was obviously the biggest defensive play of the game. But Malcom Jenkins’ near decapitation of Brandin Cooks – forcing him to finish the game in the locker room – eliminating Brady’s top long ball option, and Rodney McLeod’s stopping of Mr. Cooks during an ill-advised hurdle attempt of the Eagle defender on a crucial 3rd down catch and run, forcing a FG attempt by the Pats which they missed were both critical plays in this game.  And it was just enough to bring Mr. Lombardi to Philly.

Last but not least, the Fans:  All of you reading who identify as Eagles fans – both lifelong and even those who supported the ‘Birds for just Super Bowl Sunday due to your disdain for the rule-bending, always catching the breaks, referee blowing Patriots – you played a HUGE role.  Let’s start with our reporter at the game, primaMurbase.  He reported a Linc-esque home field advantage for the boys in green.  From the TV broadcast, the Eagle hometown feel was immediate when the Patriots took the field, boos serenading down from every corner of the stadium.  We outnumbered the Pats fans 4-1 by some reports and the noise sounded even louder.  Did it impact Mr. Gisele?  Hard to say as he moved like a hot knife through butter most of the game.  But the other 53, definitely!  Start with the long snapper who botched the Pats early FG snap leading to a miss, and then the missed XP.  Were the Pats forced to go silent count on the pivotal play when Graham got to Brady in the 4th, causing the fumble?  Possible, and that may have provided the slightest advantage for Graham to beat his man en route to Brady.

You Eagles fans have been waiting and waiting and waiting.  The prize has found it’s way to Broad and Pattison.  For the final time of this series, and in the immortal tone of Andy Reid, the time AND THE SUPER BOWL LOMBARDI TROPHY are now YOURS!!!


6 Days of Super Eagles … Days: 0


#Eagles #SuperBowlLII #FlyEaglesFly

And then there were none.  We’ve made it, it’s GO time!  Short of any late breaking news of our guys being stuck in Canada after a bender or pro’s being shuffled from the team hotel, we are ready – players and fans alike!

Zero hour is a welcome respite for the legions of ‘Birds fans who made the trek to the frozen tundra of Minneapolis as well as those watching the game with loved ones.  The last two weeks were simply Chinese water torture.  Drip, Drip, Drip.

But it’s all over… the waiting… the experts picking against the Eagles… the public betting ON the Eagles.  At 6:30PM today, we embark on exorcising the demons of the last 52 years.  By 10:30PM we’ll be dancing in the streets, sliding on Crisco greased poles, and hopefully not punching police horses.

Why will this happen?  Read on…

Day 0 Jersey:  Brian Dawkins

There are a handful of players who epitomize the spirit of the Philadelphia Eagles.  Chuck Bednarik, Bill Bergey, Vince Papale, Wes Hopkins, Jeremiah Trotter, Reggie White, Wilbert Montgomery.  I’m sure you have your personal favorites as well.  But no one can top the indomitable spirit, the blood and guts toughness, the ‘take no prisoners’ approach to the game EVERY TIME he hit the field than Brian Patrick Dawkins. THE choice of jersey for Super Bowl LII .  No one better to represent our hopes and dreams as we snuff out the evil dynasty much like he snuffed out TE’s and WR’s who dared to cross the middle on his watch!

As if we needed any more signs from above that today is the Eagle’s day, the day that we flush the jayvee barb “how many Super Bowls have YOU won?” (especially from morons who’s teams didn’t make the playoffs … and aren’t going to any time soon):  BDawk was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame last night!  Can this get any more poetic???

Dawkins success as a game day jersey is phenomenal.  Logging a 75%+ success rate over 10 years of wears, his jersey is hands down the only choice of garb today.  With wears the last two playoff games, there really is no decision to make.

In Weapon X we trust!


Day 0 Reason for Eagle Victory:  IT’S OUR DAMN TIME!

Enough of the statistics, trends, and posulates pointing to Eagle victory.  Hyperbole and disrespect is great bulletin board material, but we’re more astute than that.  Here’s the reason.  Because it’s our time!

That’s right, it’s the natural order of things.  Good always beats evil, but only after trials and tribuations.  Being so close in ’04 was excruciating.  Losing our top 4 most important position players should have eliminated any chance of the golden ring this year.  Except it didn’t.  We rallied.  We proved the naysayers wrong.  We showed the league what a true TEAM looks like as opposed to a mere collection of the parts.

Are we deserving as fans – a collection of hudloms who needed a jail at the Vet to control our drunken behavior, 700 level cast-offs who refused to give up on their team even during the dark days of Ray Rhoades and Andy Reid’s clock management ineptitude, shooting flares across the field and punching any opposing fan in the mouth who dared disrespect our loyalty and commitment???  Damn right we are.  For what goes unreported in the media is the recipients of our ire, flipping us off with double birds along with expletives that will go unsaid, this being the day of the Lord.  In short, F with us and prepare for a can of whup-ass.

Good will triumph over evil today.  We’ve paid our dues.  We are NOW due.  And don’t get it twisted:  We may not be ‘good’ in the purest sense; more like the Wolverine from  X-Men brand of good.  We have our warts, our demons, and questionable reactions to offensive stimulii.  But in the end, we protect our own, we welcome respectful critique, and we get up every time we’re knocked down.  And when we climb that riser collectively as Eagle nation tonight around 10:30PM, the old and young will embrace and laugh and cry and rejoice.  For the road was long and filled with peril.  And we’ve made it home.  Advantage:  EAGLES

We made it to Super Sunday boys and girls.  And guess what???  The DAMN TIME IS NOW OURS!!!  LET’S GO … E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!!!!

6 Days of Super Eagles … Days: 1


#Eagles #SuperBowlLII #FlyEaglesFly

Just one more day … we feel your anxiety.  But let not your heart be troubled for we have the elixir for a worry free day.  Put away your tin foil hats, Tom Brady voodoo dolls, 4-leaf clovers, and other amulets; the hay is in the barn and a calm is about to envelop you. For the Eagles are winning this Super Bowl – and what better conditions to do so?  Up against the greatest football dynasty since the Steel Curtain of the ’70s, in ridiculous Minnesota where, “its 5 degrees today but don’t worry, it feels like -20”, with our back-up QB, and a nation between a rock and hard place:  “Do I root for the Evil Empire where cheating is a birthright or do I root for the town that threw snowballs at Santa Claus and had a jail in their stadium?”  Snowflakes … all of them.

History lesson:  In the 2001 season Super Bowl, the same sentiments pervaded the public psyche.  The 14-2 Rams with storybook QB Kurt Warner and offensive mastermind Mike Martz’ “Greatest Show on Turf”, were making their 2nd Super Bowl appearance in 3 seasons… as a 14 POINT FAVORITE over the upstart Patriots.

Now let’s look at those ’01 Patriots and tell me if there’s any similarities to today’s Eagles:

  • They had a second year starting QB destined for greatness (granted, ours is injured).
  • The game was an afterthought to most of the country as a 14 point underdog really had no chance.
  • It was the Patriots 3rd Super Bowl appearance ever, having lost the previous two.

Eerie. We predict that history repeats itself and kicks off an unprecedented run of Eagle success over the next decade.  Now relax, and read on…

Day 1 Jersey:  Wilbert Montgomery

The Super Bowl LII jersey decision has reached crunch time, leaving our two favorite jerseys to choose for the big game.  Sadly, someone had to lose … wrong word … “not win” as there’s no loser in this group!

This throwback jersey for Wilbert Montgomery – another diminutive running back who logged 8 seasons with the ‘Birds from 1977-1984 – is special.  It has been worn for the biggest games but with mixed results.  Only about 50% wins which drops our favorite jersey out of the pole position for this Super Bowl.

Wilbert was a key – maybe THE key – cog to our first Super Bowl appearance, a loss to the Oakland Raiders in 1980.  He was the finest running back to wear Eagle green until Shady McCoy had his run.  He shattered the Eagle’s rushing stats and remains a fan favorite amongst all who had the pleasure to witness his greatness.

Interesting fact.  Beyond the motivation to avenge his own Super Bowl loss Wilbert has another demon to slay:  Who do you think was the running backs coach for the Rams in 2001, the Super Bowl that kickstarted the Patriot dynasty?  That’s right, #31.  Payback time!!!


Day 1 Reason for Eagle Victory:  Who do they take away?

Bill Belichick has a hallmark defensive philosophy that has served him extremely well:  Take away whatever his opponent does best.  Kill the head and the body will follow.  The notion is simple; snuffing out the best of the opponent leaves the Pats with the belief that the rest of their team will be better prepared to beat the rest of their foe.

Problem is, ain’t gonna work this time.  And that’s not a homer opinion, but fact.  Follow the bouncing ball here peeps:  The Eagles don’t rely on just one thing that they do great.  Rather, they do a LOT of things very well.  So you want to devote your defensive resources to stopping what you feel is the Eagles best weapon?  Fine, you’ll be gashed … a death by 1,000 cuts.  Take away Ajayi?  OK, we’ll put your weak side linebacker/safety in a bind and RPO his ass with Agholar while the J-Train takes the defense with him.  Take away Zach Ertz?  OK, tie up your Safety and a Linebacker with him while Alshon burns you one on one.  Take away the deep ball?  Foles is just fine taking the 8-10 yard completions as the Eagles have turned those into 20-30 yard gains this season.

So pick your poison Bill Vader; whichever you choose is going to hurt.

Offensive Diversity … Advantage:  EAGLES

Rest easy Eagle nation, the time is yours.

6 Days of Super Eagles … Days: 2


#Eagles #SuperBowlLII #FlyEaglesFly

2 more days.  2 more days until the greatest day of your life Eagles fans.  And have no doubt; this Sunday you will be crowning your Philadelphia Eagles as Super Bowl LII Champions!  And your MVP???  You’ll have to read to the bottom to see that.  But the stars are aligned as illustrated in this blog series.  The X’s and the O’s, cosmic forces, and public will are gathering into a tempest that will finally tousle that perfect Benedict Brady coif.

Before today’s reason for victory, a moment on our jersey choice just 2 days prior to Super Bowl Sunday:

Day 2 Jersey:  Donovan McNabb

The writers at primatomma scratch our heads when discussing the greatest Eagle QB in the modern era and his relationship with fans post-retirement. Some still hang the Super Bowl loss on him, conveniently forgetting the handicap of playing for the most inept clock manager of all time, Andy Reid. Others quickly forget the excellence and toughness he brought to his craft remembering instead his final two journeyman seasons.  Such misguided souls …  because the greatest modern era Eagle QB is certainly Mr. Campbell Soup himself, Donovan Jamal McNabb.  Don’t get it twisted; the man bled green for the most successful Eagles’ era in recent history.

Its funny that we don’t know what we got till it’s gone (or never arrives).  Here’s the litany of inept QB’s post- Randall and pre- Wentz who we had the pleasure to mercilessly boo (the undeserving in italics):

Rodney Peete – Ty Detmer – Bobby Hoying – Doug Pederson (yes, THAT Doug Pederson) – Koy Detmer – AJ Feeley – Mike McMahon – Jeff Garcia – Kevin Kolb – Vince Young – Michael Vick Nick Foles Mark Sanchez – Sam Bradford.

Compare these drecks’ accomplishments to Donovan’s 5 NFC East Championships, 5 NFC Championship Games, 1 NFC Championship, 1 Super Bowl appearance, while becoming the Eagles’ all-time leader in pass attempts, pass completions, passing yards, and passing touchdowns.  If you still harbor negative feelings for 5, it may be time up your Prozac. For 11 mostly glorious years, 5 gave his all without a bona fide #1 receiver, but for one full year exception with Terrell Owens.  The rest of his tenure, it was 5 making Wide Receiver salad out of Wide Receiver shit.

And remember, “#5 will always love you!


Day 2 Reason for Eagle Victory:  Defense

Back to the X’s and O’s.  If there’s one axiom that’s been burned into our collective brain from the football illuminati, it’s “Defense Wins Championships”. And if that’s truly the case then get your champagne ready for poppin’.

Everybody knows that you don’t blitz Brady; that he’ll recognize fewer defenders in coverage and pick you apart.  But that has led to a false sense of security when there’s not pressure, him being one of the most aggressive QBs this season at throwing to covered receivers.  Well, the Eagles are the best in the NFL at limiting the effectiveness of throwing into coverage, holding QBs to a paltry 16.6 passer rating when their defender is within proximity of the intended receiver.  Jim Schwartz blitzes LBs and DBs sparingly, relying instead on his front 4 to pressure the QB … of which they are one of the best in football.  Expect a lot of zone coverage in early downs with man-under concepts on 3rd downs to force stops.  Of course the Pats will counter with rub routes in such situations which you can believe the ‘Birds have been working on big time for the last two weeks.  We suspect the Eagles base defense will be nickel, in order to stymie the effectiveness of Brady’s hurry-up offense.  Malcolm Jenkins will have his big boy pants on with a full plate of Gronk, lining up 4 yards from the line of scrimmage in run support.

So how about the run game?  Got you covered there as well … the Eagles were the best in the league at run defense, allowing an average of just 79.2 yards per game on the ground.  They gave up just 7 rushing TDs all year and ranked 6th in yards allowed per carry.  Suddenly the Gillislee, Burkhead, Lewis trifecta doesn’t seem all that worrisome.

A quick review of the Pats defense:  They were ranked 30th in the NFL in pass defense.  Eric Rowe and Patrick Chung are key members of that defense.  Enough said.

WHEN the Eagles win this Sunday, there will be a vocal cry for the MVP of this game being the entire defense.  That’s how the Evil Empire will be set to crumbling.

Advantage:  EAGLES

We’re almost there folks.  Until then, the time is yours.

6 Days of Super Eagles … Days: 3


#Eagles #SuperBowlLII #FlyEaglesFly

3 is an awesome number.  It’s our favorite score in golf (always a par, birdie, or eagle), the number of the greatest player in baseball history (Il Bambino, George Herman Ruth), the time of day that happy hour starts at the primatomma offices, and the number of days until the Eagles reach Vindication Day!  Like you, we’ve seen every Eagles’ hype video and every comparison to Rocky possible.  All we can say is “keep ’em coming”! The energy is palpable and the mojo is heavily in the ‘Birds favor as Vegas is a great indicator of rooting interest (HEAVY action on the Eagles).

Today’s reasoning for Eagle Super Bowl LII victory delves into the karmic, dare we say super-natural.  But first our “3 more days of agony” jersey choice:

Day 3 Jersey:  Brian Westbrook (jersey credit to primaParty)

This diminutive running back is the epitome of why Philadelphians love their Eagles.  Only 5’8″ and slightly regarded coming from then Division 1AA (now “NCAA Division I Football Championship Subdivision” … don’t ask me why) Villanova, Westbrook played larger than most of his contemporaries.  Westbrook played 8 hugely productive seasons for the Birds, and did just about everything.  He returned kicks and punts, ran the rock with aplomb, and was arguably the greatest receiving running back in NFL history.  B-West resides among the legends in the Eagles Hall of Fame and his underdog grit translates perfectly to the nature of the 2017 NFC Champions.


Day 3 Reason for Eagle Victory:  Karma

We take a respite from the X’s and O’s to call attention to a sign from the Ether pointing to certain Eagles’ victory in 3 days.

Jerome Brown was destined to be an all-time great defensive tackle for the ‘Birds when his promising career was cut short by a tragic car accident.  Brown was just 27 years old when his life ended far too soon, just entering the prime of his career – all 5 seasons of which with the Eagles.  He was Warren Sapp and Fletcher Cox wrapped up in one.  Buddy Ryan famously quipped, “if you had 45 Jerome Browns, you would win every game.”

Here’s the connection to Jerome and this Sunday that cannot be ignored (credit to primaLerry) … brace yourself:  This Sunday is Super Bowl LII (that’s 52 for you non-Googlers – as NOBODY understands these woe begotten Greek numerals).  This Sunday is Jerome Brown’s birthday.  Guess what year of his life he would be completing? (Hint:  It’s the same as the number of NFL seasons this Sunday’s Super Bowl concludes.)

  1.  Karmic Advantage:  EAGLES

Until tomorrow… the time is yours.

6 Days of Super Eagles … Days: 4


And then there were 4.  4 LOONGGG days until redemption for the 2004 season’s Super Bowl.  You remember.  Same Patriots, same Brady.  So close but couldn’t seal the deal, falling to the Death Star by a measly field goal, 24-21.  But fear not Eagles faithful, today’s jersey selection and reason for ‘Birds glory this Sunday are sure to get the revenge juices flowing like Rocky facing Clubber Lang after Mickey’s death.

Day 4 Jersey:  Terrell Owens

Take a deep breath … lots of emotions bubble to the surface when the initials of Terrell Eldorado Owens are muttered to Eagles fans.  T.O. conjures both the best of times and worst of times for Eagle nation.  But make no mistake, this dude will go down in the annals of Eagle’s lure having given one of the most remarkable efforts EVER in professional sports.  T.O.’s on-field prowess cannot be denied.  He averaged nearly 100 yards per game during his short stint in Philly, the undeniable missing piece in Donovan’s arsenal that he never had before and certainly never had after.

But the defining moment that cements him as legend in Linc-ville, emblematic of all that is beloved in our blue collar ethos, was his comeback from a week 15 broken leg to play in the Super Bowl.  And not just play, but nabbed 9 catches for 122 yards… on ONE DAMN LEG!

T.O., your time here was too short.  But for one magical season, (cue Tina Turner) you were simply the best.


Day 4 Reason for Eagle Victory:  Vigilance

Interesting that with all of the scrutiny aimed at professional athletes off the field that something as rudimentary as signal stealing on the field could still possibly occur.  But according to recent acknowledgment by Steve Spagnuolo, Eagles linebacker coach during the 2004 Super Bowl season, that’s exactly what happened in that razor thin game.  Spags made mention that the late great Defensive Coordinator Jim Johnson was convinced of this during the game… that Darth Brady knew of blitzes every time Johnson dialed up pressure – even exotic stunts from defensive alignments the Eagles had never shown throughout the season!  Film review thereafter makes his claim all the more credible and, according to Spagnuolo, factual. (Research credit:  primaMurbase).

Why bring this up now, 17 years later?  Because if we don’t, history will repeat itself.  And that ladies and gentlemen is NOT going to happen.  The Eagles are well prepared this time to avert those prying eyes, going so far as more deeply coded play calls and multiple signalers should the audio system fail.  And on a level playing field, that razor thin 3 point loss 17 years ago becomes a W … which it is going to be this time!

Level playing field … Advantage:  EAGLES

Until tomorrow… time is yours.

6 Days of Super Eagles … Days: 5


5 more days.  5 more days until we find ourselves on the RIGHT side of history.  On the right side of sending the Evil Empire packing for good.  A change of the guard is upon us. Much like a young Tom Brady beating the Greatest Show on Turf in the ’01 season Bowl, kicking off almost two decades of excellence, the Eagles find themselves in a similar spot this Sunday.  Brady is 40, still at the top if his game, but Father Time takes a major tick this weekend.  The Eagles have an MVP QB … who ISN’T EVEN PLAYING THIS WEEKEND!  And a coach that will grow with him.  Bright days ahead, boys and girls.

Day 6 Jersey:  Hugh Douglas

Hugh Lamont Douglas played 6 seasons for the ‘Birds, culminating in a final Swann song in the failed Super Bowl run of 2004.  But Hugh is most important for another reason for which he earns a finalist slot in our 6 Days of Super Eagles, Day 5 Jersey:  He reversed the curse of inept pass rushers that the Eagles tried in vain to acquire ever since the heralded Reggie White days.  How can we forget such luminaries as Brandon Whiting, Juqua Parker, Jerome McDougal, Jon Harris, and the epitome of the era, Mike “Almost Got There” Mamula?  With the brief exception of William Fuller, the position was a dumpster fire by anyone’s standards.  The Hughster reversed this trend, and was arguably THE catalyst to a revamped defense that took us to the precipice of greatness 13 years ago.



Day 5 Reason for Eagle Victory:  Familiarity

This reason could end with one sentence:  Each side has two players that has played with the other team – the Eagles have Legarrette Blount and Chris Long … two MAJOR pieces of the ‘Birds success in ’17; the Pats have Patrick Chung and Eric Rowe – two Jabrones that the Eagles cut due to SUCKING!  Add the fact that Blount (offense) and Long (defense) have both sides of the field covered, you cannot deny, Advantage:  EAGLES

You can’t underestimate the importance of knowing the ins and outs of your opponent.  It’s why inter-division games are always so close as the talent gap shrinks due to knowledge of the other side’s personnel and planning.  Look back at the ’02 Super Bowl, won by the Tampa Bay Bucs and new head coach Jon Gruden, beating the Oakland Raiders … who Gruden coached for the previous 4 seasons!  So this is important, REALLY important.  And bet your last dollar that both Long and Blount are front and center of team meetings ever since the trashing of the crying Vikings.

Back tomorrow.  Time is yours.


6 Days of Super Eagles … Days: 6


If it’s not abundantly clear, the primatomma staff are 100% Eagles fans.  So if that’s a turn off to any evil empire Patriot fans, then go back to your cheating, criminal, anti-American ways while 99% of the country enjoys this post.

With the longest week EVER to endure for Eagles fans upon us, we offer you a brief respite from your anxiety leading up to Super Bowl LII.  Over the next 6 days, we will share with you the jerseys we have considered donning in the biggest game of our lives, Super Bowl LII.  Culminating with the winning jersey that virtually GUARANTEES a ‘Birds victory this Sunday!  And as a bonus, each day will feature the reasons why the Eagles will take home the Lombardi trophy.  These reasons are steeped in analytics, objectivity, and – we are under advisement – have been divinely inspired. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

Day 6 Jersey:  Custom

As a rule, primatomma is adamantly opposed to personalizing your jersey with your own name.  Can you say, “narcissistic”?  But that violation is shelved for any customized jersey with special meaning.  So our Day 6 Eagles jersey is an homage to our primaFounder’s 40th birthday (thus the “40”).  Shout out to primaFrenchie for this kind gesture.  Always a crowd-pleaser in your own home, but for the love of Pete, don’t wear your own name on your team’s jersey to the stadium or you deserve a beer shower.


Day 6 Reason for Eagle Victory:  Offensive Line

Its been said that football games are won in the trenches.  When looking at offensive line effectiveness, you have to look beyond the ranking of each unit by this season’s stats, which ranks both O-lines as a virtual tie.  If both teams have performed comparably, next level analysis focuses on two areas:  1) Experience of the unit, and 2) expected performance vs. opposing team’s Defensive Line.

  • The Eagles have a combined 343 career regular season starts, with the most starts being this season.  The Pats lag with 250 starts. Advantage:  Eagles
  • Looking at the D-Lines both offenses will be facing, the Pats are the 20th ranked run defense in the league.  They give up 4.7 yards per carry… 2nd worse in the NFL!  The Eagles love to run the ball.  Do the math… the Eagles by comparison give up almost a FULL YARD less per carry at 3.8 … which is huge.  While the Pats aren’t as run heavy as the Eagles, they are middle of the pack in terms of sacks allowed.  Translation:  The team that runs the ball better has a decided edge.  Advantage: Eagles

Back tomorrow with more insight.  The time is yours.

Presenting … the primaTomies!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programing of disgraced Hollywood moguls and A-listers – who believe their status in the world of make believe gives license to unzip, pop out, and disgrace their loved ones – with a word from our sponsors.  OK, not really OUR sponsors but those who have earned the right to [dis]grace the pages of our fine site.  We present to you the worst commercial finalists, as nominated by our loyal followers.

Ladies and gentlemen, the primaTomies‘:

Terrible Commercial Nominees

Annoying Verizon spokesman turned Sprint spokesman.

This dude was a tool with Verizon and continues to be annoying with Sprint.  Hey Paul, why not just say “I’m pimping Sprint now because they’re paying me more than Verizon … and all those ads I ran for 10 years for Verizon, just forget about them.”  Once a tool always a tool:

Condescending Trivago guy.

You know, the women really nailed the best physical descriptor ever with “Resting Bitch Face”.  We try in vain to match that with our “Wanting to Punch you in the Face, Face”.  Not quite the same ring, but it’s the thought that counts.  And who would you rather punch in the face more than this condescending, would rather be doing anything than talk to us, divorced-dad-type trying to be too cool-for-school poser?

Dallas Cowboy Repping … Insurance??!!!

GEICO must not have done their homework.  Or maybe they have:  The organization that is wrought with drugs, misogyny, frequenting of prostitutes, DUI convictions, etc. is chosen to represent a company that aims to appeal to all Americans?

To be clear, Jason Witten is a good dude and really not deserving of the Cowboys’ horns but this commercial blows regardless of the team.  First of all, they give him a generic “82” jersey that 1) has the numbers way too spread out, and 2) doesn’t even reference his team.  What, GEICO can’t afford to pay the fee to use his actual jersey?  And the lighting, the dumb-ass drills, and the even dumber song makes us cringe every time this low-rent trash of a commercial airs.  Maybe their intent was to show a broke-ass, cheap commercial for a product of the same characteristics?  If so, GEICO, you succeeded.

“And the winner is…”

This was a tough vote for the primaStaff, but we have reached a verdict:  As nausea-inducing as all of these fine finalists may be, one truly causes the dry heaves with each view… that of GEICO infamy!  Congratulations GEICO and Mr. Witten, you receive the inaugural lousy commercial award!  Your primaTomie is in the mail.

Next up, the best commercials; stay tuned…

“The IRS is not enough”

Sports are the ‘great equalizer’.  One of the few places where race, religion, politics, and even gender are thrown out the window.  If you can get the job done better than the next guy, the job is yours.  Now that gets muddy in the age of guaranteed contracts, large signing bonuses, and the little league coach who starts his kid every game at second base because – well – he can.

Those situations aside, sports tell us all we need to know about a person.  Play 18 holes of golf with a stranger and you’ll know all you need to know about him.  Enter a locker room and it will take all of 5 minutes to identify the Alpha Dog; knock him on his as on the field and he quickly becomes Alpha Dog Sht.  And that kid who advanced the ultimate winning run on a fly ball to right field who’s pissed that his batting average dropped?  We sure as hell will never hire him.

In that vein, a local story emerged over the last week that tells us all we need to know about the people involved.

Seneca Ridge River Bend Basketball League (SRRBBL) is a nonprofit organization for children in grades three through eight in Sterling, VA.  That’s good.  The fact that their board’s financial management looks very negligent in the best-case scenario to downright fraudulent in the worst-case scenario is not so good.

You’ve heard this story a million times:  Headstrong individuals wrestle control of a league only to serve their own purposes vs. the families they are elected to represent.  As for SRRBBL, the jury is still out.  But the alleged fiscal mis-management is best summarized in the chart below.  Player enrollment fees should FAR exceed the gross income reported to the IRS in tax years 2012-2015.


So where did the money go?  That’s what concerned parents want to know, as reported by the Loudoun Times.  Since the story broke, anecdotes of vocal families who have questioned the board’s activities being black-balled, frozen out of “travel” team opportunities, etc. have come to light.

There’s enough smoke to this fire to warrant answers to the hard hitting questions raised by this group of frustrated parents.  Enough smoke that we support signing their petition – you should too.

There’s one more piece to this puzzle that is becoming increasingly clear.  We’re normally not fans of judging a book by its cover, but here’s the commissioner of this league of 3rd – 8th graders.  Who coincidentally had a lien placed on his property in 2013, an amount in excess of $60,000+, by the IRS.  Just sayin’: